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Hi Sheila,
You got us both here laughing so much my ribs hurt

I was reading your post to my best half and she was glued to every word, but when I got to the bit where your Son calls I couldn't speak for laughing not to mention the tears rolling down my face. She had to come round and read it for herself, needless to say she ended up in a worst state than I was in

She said we both should consider doing a stand up comedy team routine. A good old giggle with a good old Glasgow sense of humour, nothing else in the world comes close.
Thanks for your request to Santa on my behalf, if he can make dreams come true, he will. That's the magic of Santa Claus.
Take care Sheila.
John
Hi again John or should I say my comedy team partner
Glad you and your wife had a laugh over the post, I certainly laughed at yours.
So here's my latest plan: I could print out all the comments here and when I go to Glasgow take them to this "silent" person that resides at 31 Blaeloch and show them that this plea is legit! Could maybe add a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine (would check what way the wind was blowing on that one, maybe keep the wine to myself, maybe even keep the chocolates as well if some wee sour ploom opens the door

)
I had another plan but it fell through. I asked my friend that works for Strathclyde's finest (the one that has a cousin on the same street) if she could maybe just swing by wearing her uniform and have a wee chat with Mr/Mrs Silent. She was having none of that, I think because she's a wee bit more shy than me.

She had the cheek to add she's still trying to recover from my last visit.

Now granted I found myself in some very funny situations but none of it my doing, when I'm out I just have a knack for whack jobs zeroing in on me and as I keep telling her "och it's nice to be nice to people". But that is definitely true about whacky people seeking me out, so much so that today I was going to the mall Christmas shopping with my daughter. She said to me "maybe you should wear your sun glasses" I asked, "why would I do that, when it's raining?", she says "then you won't be able to make eye contact with any crazy people".

I said to her "would you like me to hire a guide dog for the day and I'll walk round the mall with my eyes shut?".

(No disrespect meant to blind people on that) Every time I go somewhere with my kids you always hear one of them mumbling "Oh no, here we go". That's code for "someone's making a bea line to engage in conversation with Mom"
Anyway John don't you worry about it, I have lots of time to come up with other plans to endear you to Mr/Mrs Silent, as my Granny used to say.. "just you mark my words". Anyone on here with any other suggested plans, or schemes in this endeavor, please post them here, marked Attention: John, after all no point in two of us going to jail for this and I'm pretty sure Beltrami will not give us a two for one deal.
Cheers, Sheila (Hi, John's wife

)